I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize