the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
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