so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
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she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
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They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
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