i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
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