im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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