my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize