The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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