best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize