Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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