apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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