five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize