i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
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I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
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I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize