I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
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