Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
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I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
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its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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