my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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