remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
i think i have two assholes
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize