I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
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Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
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to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize