so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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