I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
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