I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize