I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize