So drunk its hurt
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize