One girl and one boy is just not enough.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
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My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
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in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
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