bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
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Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
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It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
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