Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
i used baking grease as lip gloss
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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