i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize