You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
COCAINE IS GR8
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize