I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
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When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
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A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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