So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
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I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
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Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
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