just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize