Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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