I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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