So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
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