He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I would fuck him just for his dog
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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