And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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