Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
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