someone threw a dead crab at me
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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