My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
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I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
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Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
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