Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize