remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
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