in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize