i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I am one with the molecules
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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