no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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