This dress was meant to end up on your floor
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
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