He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I just want nice things and good sex
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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