the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
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