I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize