he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
People with herpes should wear stickers.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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