Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize