So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
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He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
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Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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